I was a slender bridesmaid
silk crinoline in white
When they saw me walking down
applause echoed the night
I sang for them
I smiled at them
and then in return
hope shone brightly in my soul
raining love for her sojourn.
~Marlies Vonn
***
This poem was inspired by an actual dream. It is beyond the scope of this post to describe the entire dream in all its absurdity. Most dreams are exactly that. Instead, I will describe the very end of the dream for you.
I had a very white, sleeveless “ballerina style” dress. The top was made of taffeta. The bottom consisted of a lovely crinoline covered with tulle, ending just below my knees. I was wearing the most comfortable pair of high heels I’d ever remembered having. And I was very slender. The tulle felt soft and lovely as it lightly swished against my knees when I moved. I felt light and buoyant as I walked softly down a lightly carpeted path.
I wasn’t the “main attraction.” I wasn’t the bride.
What surprised me the most was this: I didn’t expect the reaction that took place when I stepped into view. All of a sudden the venue changed into a small concert-like venue with tiered seating. As soon as everyone saw me [and others in the group] they began screaming with delight. My heart raced as this was an unfamiliar feeling. Of course, the people were enthralled to see the beginning of a procession which would eventually end with the main attraction: the bride.
I don’t remember a time in my dreams in which I was celebrated. Most, if not all of my dreams consist of frustration, envy, jealousy, terror, anger – and most of all – humiliation.
The dream made me feel wanted. They anticipated my arrival with joy. And I felt amazing physically too. Honestly, I must say that it was the best night of my life.
No exaggeration.
I’ve never felt that special in my whole life. I am thankful for my taffeta-covered dream and it now rests in my soul, alive with hope and white stardust.
I LOVE this. Like, really really WOW love this! I got married in 2015; did the whole wedding dress shopping thing, which is horribly depressing at 40 and Chunky. It was honestly worse than swimming suit shopping. But I DID end up finding The Dress; I ordered it online, it was on sale, it was perfect. Except that I never actually put the dress on until the day I got married. I was so unutterably terrified at people looking at me and feeling ugly and fat. I had a friend do my hair and makeup, and was literally shaking that day at the thought of people looking at me.
The dress should’ve been altered to fit better, but I just couldn’t bear putting it on–my anxiety was beyond overwhelming. I was so sure that I’d somehow jinx it, that my fiance would leave me. And then it turned out beautiful. And the dress was fantastic, and I FELT wonderful :). And my shoes rocked, though they were ballet flats, not heels 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow… is my reply… sounds a lot like my dream! I can understand you being terrified – not putting the dress on until the Big Day. I’m glad it turned out beautiful for you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person