On Friday, I had the unpleasant duty of multitasking.  I do not do this well.  I am currently studying in the hopes that I might be able to secure some sort of money-producing gig in the near future.  So I was studying for an examination that was coming up on Saturday.  At the same time, I was trying to complete an online work project (for which I get paid).  I am trying my best to make a little dough on the side, you know, so I can get fatter than I already am.  Anyway, mid-way through both projects I hit a brick wall.  Which meant I had to carry that brick wall with me into Saturday.

THOUGHTS ON BRICK WALLS

Saturday came, along with it, the brick wall.  The place where I write the exam is NOT close to where I live.  I got the to the exam center, where I was politely informed that all of my future exams had been canceled.  I politely explained that I had received no notification of this – there must have been something wrong with the system.

I sat there, banging my head against the brick wall.  The receptionist found out what the issue was, and located a spot where I could take my exam.  By this time my frustration and thickness of brain fog were very severe.

I wish this was an exaggeration, but it is not.  At the very moment that I began my exam, there was some sort of musical band (whose genre I have yet to identify) that started to play.  And that musical band and my exam room were separated by one wall.  At times, I thought that one of the players must be smacking two cast iron frying pans together, you know, to be original, theatric, and loud.  Again, no exaggeration, the very minute I walked out of the exam room, the music stopped.  The pass mark for the exam was 80% and I got 75%, which is considered to be quite a poor mark.  Then the migraine headache started.  That happens when I bang my head against my brick wall enough times.

THOUGHTS ON EAGLES AND TURKEYS

I’d had one of those “it’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys” kind of day and inwardly, I didn’t have much composure.

I just wasn’t thinking clearly to begin with.  As the day (and my brain fog) progressed, I thought that by some bizarre coincidence that all of the earthly eagles had suddenly been driven to the edge of extinction by an unknown source and that giant turkey farms were being cultivated.

I was hoping that kind animal activists might fight to bring the eagles back from the brink and boycott thanksgiving, allowing the turkeys to roam free everywhere across the world, going wherever they wanted, following and biting whoever they pleased.  Wouldn’t solve much but it’s funny and I’m allowed to say funny things when I’m in brain fog land dammit!

THOUGHTS ON THE PATIENCE OF JOB

I thought that despite having hit a wall and having faced frustration, failure, exacerbations of chronic fatigue with a dab of a migraine, I had held my composure quite well.  I told one of my online friends that I might have had “the patience of Job.”  He told me that was a crappy analogy.  I said, “explain.” He said:

“No matter how bad things got, he just held strong to his programming and his ideology. And when he finally did reach his breaking point and cry out in anger to the system, he was told to shut up, and that God’s ways were far too complicated for him to understand and he should just play his position.”  At that point, I was too tired to reply intelligently and just said “jolly good” and had visions of Job making the best of his situation by drawing lines and squares in the sand and playing hopscotch.

It’s days like these, when things are bad both internally and externally, that you just have to imagine ridiculous scenarios of turkeys running wild all over the country, and Job playing hopscotch, wondering if there even was any sand where he lived.  Always try to think of one thing that you DO have or one thing that IS going well, even when everything is falling apart. Especially if that one thing makes you laugh:

THOUGHTS ON DRY SHAMPOO
DRY SHAMPOO, BITCHES!
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