It is one of the most popular rhymes in the English language.

Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

I find it problematic that this rhyme is considered a “nursery rhyme.” Why is this considered comforting or soothing to an unsettled toddler? I guess if the child is unable to understand English, it would be effective if spoken softly.

Based on myths and legends, it tells of a live creature plunging to the ground from his perch on a wall, ostensibly breaking into several pieces upon impact.

  • Sounds like fodder for nightmares to me. Check this out:

MotherGooseHumptyDumpty

  • An illustration from Walter Crane‘s Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhymes (1877), showing Humpty Dumpty as a boy.
  • I’M going to have nightmares thinking of that poor boy dying. It looks as if he might have been having gastrointestinal issues before his fall.
  • And why does the bass clef in the above score of music look like a friggin’ seashell?

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I think we can gather that Humpty-Dumpty was both sentient and important.

If he was a glass bottle, there wouldn’t be such a swift gathering of the king’s army serving to plan a repair strategy.

And what do horses have to do with anything? What does a horse care if anything falls off of any wall? I don’t know a whole lot about horses. However, if I was a horse and something fell off of a nearby wall and smashed to pieces, I’d either run away or continue eating grass, depending on my proximity to said wall.

Furthermore, can a human being break into several pieces upon impact with the ground that would necessitate having to be “put back together?” I’m no medical doctor, but I would assume there’d be head trauma, broken bones and internal bleeding. Very likely, the individual would die from injuries sustained.

The king’s men (let’s just forget about the horses) would need to plan a funeral, not sit at some roundtable discussing how to resurrect Humpty-Dumpty.

I call bullshit in every conceivable way on this nursery rhyme.

Here’s how I would have worded it:

Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall.
He died the next day, and no one would say,
If he fell ill or was pushed away.

So basically I think someone got away with murder. That’s my take on the Humpty-Dumpty story.

Here is a link to the origins and meanings of the rhyme, from authors to kings to cannon balls to modern culture.

What does any of this have to do with Easter? I don’t really know. Rabbits? Eggs? Coming back from the dead?

Have a great holiday, y’all.

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Picture Credit:

By Walter CraneIllustrator: John Gilbert, John Tenniel, Harrison Weir, and others – http://www.gutenberg.org/files/39784/39784-h/39784-h.htm#Page_48 Title: Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhymes A Collection of Alphabets, Rhymes, Tales, and Jingles (London: Routledge, 1877), Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=19946624

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