Have you ever spent weeks, months, or even years working up the courage to do something?
Of course, you have. It’s part of the human condition.
But then there’s little miss Marlies, a person who works up the courage to do something KNOWING that rejection is a 99.99999% probability, and does it anyways. It’s called by many names:
- lack of discernment
- lack of wisdom
- not sleeping on it
- sleeping on it for five days and then forgetting you’re going to get rejected because of brain fog
- forgetting what you slept on because your face needs ironing out
- poor writing skills
- poor thinking skills (which is a given, considering brain fog which for some reason is green today)
- running out into traffic at rush hour expecting not to get hit
- jumping off a building hoping you will sprout wings halfway down, then you get rejected by the concrete sidewalk
- poor planning
- going into a hockey game wearing women’s skates
- the fool on the hill who, on her first day of skiing, takes the black diamond route and wonders why she ended up unconscious in the parking lot at the bottom
- foolishness, also known as stupid, silly, idiotic, witless, brainless, dickless (whoops I forgot I’m not a guy), vacuous, mindless, unintelligent, thoughtless, half-baked, harebrained, imprudent, incautious, injudicious, unwise, ill-considered, impolitic, rash, reckless, foolhardy and daft
- ill-advised even though nobody advised you
- ill-considered (no wonder you weren’t considered)
Why do I bother considering that romance or even one date would be an option? Yes, folks, I have been rejected by a boy. Everybody goes through it. I’ve gone through it too many times.
- What everybody does not go through is:
- recovering from the energy expenditure it took to work up the courage to ask
- physically remaining in bed for 3 days because of the trauma of being made fun of for going into a hockey game with figure skates and wondering why you were high-sticked in the face by the boy who will never notice you
- recovering from the fact that you knew nobody wanted you on their team and you went out on the field to be chosen anyways
- and not even being able to cry because you’re so dehydrated so you drink a liter of water and dilute your electrolytes and end up in the hospital
- ok that hospital part was a stretch but I might have a seizure tonight
There will be a follow-up to this story. I know that most of my posts are humorous, but the next few will not be. I WILL work up the courage to write about how my heart has been hammered into the ground, over and over again, and how difficult, if not impossible, my chronic illness has made it for me to ever be considered for romantic love or any sort of long-term partnership. This will be hard to write about and will not be pretty, but my story needs to be told.
Well, I think that after sleeping for a few days and watching some gruesome horror movies to cleanse my palate, I’ll be just fine.
I have to remember that my life is like a pack of hungry kittens. I never know what I’m not going to get.
This is great. Instead of a 401 error, someone thought this up. Looks like the two kittens on the right are stoned out of their gourds. I just laughed so hard when I came across this, that I had to share it with you all.
And remember this: everybody knows, you never go full retard. ~Tropic Thunder