Yes, folks, you heard it here first.
Oprah Winfrey called me fat. But, let me put it into context for you.
IT WAS IN A VERY VIVID DREAM.
I all of a sudden had this amazing black credit card with no limit. In this dream, I had somehow felt entitled to this card. I was making out with Robin Williams and then stole it from one of his friends.
All of a sudden I was in a huge (and I mean HUGE) shopping centre. With this black credit card. And oh, the cloooothes that I bought were amazing! At the beginning of my shopping experience, I was able to purchase whatever I wanted, in whatever size. Size zero fit. Size 4 fit.
As the shopping spree expanded, apparently so did my waistline. I then stumbled into the most amazing shop yet. Shoes, dresses, pants, leather, vinyl, denim, hats, fishnets, everything you could imagine… it was there. And Oprah Winfrey owned this one.
I was showing off my latest selection in front of a mirror and grabbed a huge but oh-so-stylish hat to top it off.
Oprah suddenly appeared behind the cash register and mused to a co-worker “Yeah, the big hat balances her out because of the fat.”
So there you have it.
I tried to get back to Robin Williams because he was such a great kisser but he gave up on waiting around for me and just disappeared.
Welcome to my dreamscape, people. Welcome.
I feel deeply concerned about the Robin Williams portion of this dream, more so than Oprah. Robin Williams?? Hahahaha. Really loved him while he was with us, but locking lips with him was not something I ever thought about! Dreams are so weird! 🤔
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Yeah, I totally know! I’m still ambivalent myself and in a bit of shock about that part of my dream. I mean, he was really nice though! And he was a good kisser! And last night I dreamed I was in jail for a crime I didn’t commit. It was awful. Woke up with a headache. Yes, dreams are strange.
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Yeah, Oprah’s one to talk… 😉
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Well, I’m not exactly skinny myself….lol
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