Whoever has a voodoo doll in my likeness. Fucking stop sticking pins in me.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
My dad brought me this today. I love retro lamps. Like hit-the-roof love retro lamps.
Then he taped its plastic wrapping around my chair and…well here’s the picture.
Just for the hell of it. Notice how the chair is attached firmly to the desk, and an extra piece of tape strangles my binder to my desk. He knew things were chaotic and there is nobody who cheers me up like he does. The apple did not fall far from the tree.
The apple did not fall far from the tree. Well, the whole fucking tree fell on me and it’s been downhill ever since. And it has nothing to do with my dad. Just that the tree is rotting and I have fallen and I can’t get up.
This is where I study. I don’t wanna study no more. I don’t wanna adult. Please don’t make me adult! Then my neighbor’s cat came over (he just sort of knocks and visits once in awhile). And this happened.
NOW ON TO THE FLUCKET LIST
People have shit they want to do. I dunno, like before they get hit by a bus. I got shit I wanna do too. But I can’t physically do any of it so I’m not wasting time talking about it.
These are things on my “Flucket List”.
- Finish reading a book within the next 5 years. Have someone set up a party where the 101 books everyone should read are burned (I would never do this because those are good books and great authors and I’m sure my life would become more difficult). I would also not do this because I don’t do fire and outdoors.
- Have more than $0.04 in my checking account within the next 6 years.
- Buy a new toothbrush.
- Make my hair look like this with $0.04 in my checking account. And I want the latest cut and style too mofo.
- Hang pictures on my wall.
- Get Kelto a girlfriend. Wonder why there are no bear cubs.
- Travel to the places across the road from my apartment.
- Meet my next door neighbour and ask him for some whiskey (I’ve already met him and he is really scary and not friendly and I ain’t asking him for nothin).
- Take a shower. Glue all of my prescription pills to the wall just to scare people.
- Reduce the number of in-use power bars scattered across my floor.
- Get a retro style bicycle and stare at it as a decoration for the rest of my life. It has to be blue.
- Walk to the grocery store and buy some olives to go with the whiskey.
- Find another person on my floor that is friendly and has whiskey.
- Look outside.
- Build a tent in my room so it looks like “go camping” was on the list.
- Get toner for my printer.
- Not dream about shooting out of the top of a high rise because the elevator went out of control.
- Ride in an elevator or escalator. Either will do.
- Harassinate everyone on this planet that has a bucket list (this means I will get someone to chase you while riding a donkey).
- Continue the flucket list some other time.
- Because of this:
“Flucket” is now in my personal online dictionary.