I cracked today. I knew it would eventually happen, but not on the 25th of September, 2016. Wait, it’s still the 24th. Well, I tried to build this post up to a fiery roar and it’s just flopped. I’ll try to start again.
I have a voice like no other. And you have a voice like no other. My nostrils are flaring and my mouth is cracking open –
AND FIRE IS COMING OUT
in contrast to That’s a great story warren, but there aren’t enough dragons. I just figured out I might be a dragon of some sort. For the safety and concern of the people around me, I now carry a fire extinguisher at all times. It fits in my purse. Cool, huh? Additionally, I am on my second can of beans in tomato sauce. I’m gonna go ahead and let you figure that one out on your own.
There are a lot of people concerned for my sanity right now. Quite the opposite is happening. I’m not manic, intoxicated, and I haven’t seen the Seven Dwarves in quite some time. I’ve been evaluated by four psychiatrists in 13 years and they all think I’m a little sad, and, of course, otherwise completely healthy. I’m just angry about it and that is what has made me breathe fire, finally.
I’m embracing life. And Kelto is coming right along with me. He’s tired of being propped up against my printer. And so am I.
Next time maybe I can persuade a neighbor to put him on my (arrggh scratch that), on A motorcycle. Kelto and I have a message for you:
YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS.
For me personally, I had to get very, very angry and fart quite a lot to rise out of my couch and say that to myself. Additionally,
I AM GOING TO WRITE A BOOK. A REALLY GOOD ONE. WHILE FARTING SHAMELESSLY.
This blog post is to serve as a general apology for the novel of a blog I wrote before this one. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t read it to the end.
I came across some lyrics to a song from a band I’d never heard before in my life (Disturbed). I won’t show you the video because it might be triggering. But I’m gonna wax serious just for a second and share my favorite part of the song.
Let them all be reminded
Don’t let them undermine
Your dreams can never be stolen
Don’t leave them stagnant rotting on the vine
Say goodbye to anyone who tries
To bleed you dry, you will show them
You’re blessed with an unlimited supply
Leave nothing left behind
~Written by Dan Donegan, David Draiman, Kevin Churko, Mike Wengren • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that you can move mountains, spring out of bed at 0500h tomorrow, work out, shower, get dressed, do your hair and makeup, and go conquer the world. I nearly passed out just thinking of that.
But think of something, anything that you’ve left stagnant, rotting on the vine. We all have something. Like a tomato. Or any other sort of vegetable. And then eat one. I know that would be something I could do.
And you are blessed with an unlimited supply of something.
Only you know what that unlimited something is. I am NOT a therapist, I am only sharing my days with you. And my thoughts.
Consider following me – because I have an unlimited supply of “haha” and also “deep thoughts”. And I have great taste in movies and music. Ughhh well some people think so.
Sometimes, and think about it carefully, some bridges are not meant to go back over, especially if what was over there was not good for you. Like those old high heels that made you bleed. Amiright, ladies?